Predatory Adoptive Parents

Strong words, eh? Calling some adoptive parents predators? Anyone who knows me is aware that I do not demonize ALL adoptive parents, and understand that many are enlightened and decent people.

What I do not understand is the "no holds barred" efforts to snag a newborn at any costs. If a couple wants to adopt, there are plenty of legitimate opportunities to do so through adoption and social service agencies. Why then are so many potential adoptive parents trolling the Internet for babies?

In particular, why do some potential adoptive parents frequent groups specifically for birth parents? Are they attempting to glean information to help them craft the perfect profile? Were they rejected by agencies, but certain that standard rules should not apply to them? Are babies from agencies too expensive, so they attempt to track down babies on their own? Maybe agencies are too much trouble?

Current agency adoption practices often leave much to be desired and I am aware of that fact. I also have heard about how detailed and unpleasant some home studies are, and how demeaning the scrutiny surrounding agency adoptions may seem. However, why should parents who are unwilling or incapable of surviving such scrutiny be allowed to adopt?

Why is it okay for potential adoptive parents to market themselves and blast their intentions all over creation searching for an woman in an unplanned pregnancy who MIGHT consider adoption for her child? As far as I can tell, there is no shortage of adoptable children. Nearly every day, we hear about children who NEED homes. Why then are SOME potential adoptive parents scouring the ends of the earth looking for children to adopt?

Are some adoptive parents convinced that if a woman places one baby for adoption, she may place ALL her children? In fact, most of the birth mothers that I know would walk through fire before considering losing another child in their family to adoption. Maybe they just do not realize how hurtful it is for birth mothers trying to heal for them to invade groups specifically designed for birth mothers? Just in case - it is insulting, presumptuous and rude for adoptive parents to be trolling on birth mother sites. There - I said it! Hmm, you didn't really expect me to mince words, right?

If a group says that it is a "birth mother" group, potential adoptive parents MAY not always be welcome, and they should be aware this is the case. As for extreme, do it yourself adoption methods in general.......later!