What Else? Coercion - Part ?

Me talk about coercion? Anyone curious as to why I blog about it so much? Ahhhh, probably not. That's okay, I will tell you anyway! Coercion is one of the tactics in adoption that bothers me the most. Bothers me? More accurately, it makes me fighting mad! It infuriates me - all the coercion that happens in adoption. Coercion, lack of adequate information and closed records. Here are three other places to read about coercion! Heather Lowe and pre-birth matching http://unplanned-pregnancy.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/pre-birth-ties-between-birth-and-adoptiv Karen Sterner - Coercion - a 4-part series http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-c-word-coercion Jan - Part 1 of 3 http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/the-c-word-coercion I know many of you are not fond of the site these blogs are on, but, they are read by they have a wide readership. The bigger audience we receive - the sooner coercion and some of the other nasty practices in adoption will change. So, please consider checking these out. If you were coerced, talk about it, tell others and don't stop till we no longer have coercion in adoption. I PROMISE - my next blog will not be about coercion! How about misinformation and lies? Or, should I just blog something nice for a change? And talk about how blessed I feel to be reunited - nearly 5 years? The only thing I can promise is that I won't talk about how wonderful adoption is. I know for some that it is - it is not for me - and never will be. To make a flat definitive statement that "adoption is wonderful" though denies, dismisses and insults every person who is in pain due to adoption. My son's adoption is now integrated into my being. It is part of who I am and who he is. I am a mostly happy and content person - so is my son. However, I hate the way adoption happens now in the U.S. - in case anyone reading has missed it - that's how I feel. Will I ever utter those words, "I think adoption is wonderful" though? Do pigs fly? I know - for some people - particularly adoptive parents, and some adoptees, adoption is a wonderful experience. To say it is wonderful in general though is a slap in the face to birth families and adoptees - it is dismissing our pain and pretending that it does not matter. It does.

Coercion - Korea and the U.S. - Different Methods Same Goal

This is a really interesting post by a young woman who was part of a group of Korean adoptees who visited a "birth mother's home" in Korea. Apparently she figured out that she and the others in her group were being used as a way to demonstrate to the young pregnant women how wonderfully well their babies might turn out - if they put them up for adoption. http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/juice-cookies-with-a-birth-mom/ As I said in a comment on her site, the American version of her story is slightly different. Here we do not parade adoptees around saying how swell growing up without their biological family is. Here, we use birth moms. In the U.S., instead they find new birth moms to counsel pregnant women. They must employ fairly new birth moms - that's because few birth moms who have lived without their children for awhile would ever encourage other pregnant women to follow in their footsteps. It is necessary to use birth moms who have not had their WTF (thanks, Claud!) moments yet. Birth moms who have lived without their babes for a few years aren't generally too willing to say "adoption is wonderful, you too should do it". Of course, those birth moms whose open adoptions slammed shut are not the best spokespersons either. In America, we encourage new birth moms to share their stories about how wonderfully well relinquishing their babies has worked for them. Then the agencies plaster those stories all over websites so that pregnant women considering adoption can slurp them up. Pregnant women considering adoption read those stories and convince themselves that it really is okay to give your own flesh and blood to strangers to raise. Not enough that some agencies young pregnant women and convince them to relinquish their babies. Sometimes they add insult to injury by then messing with them again by using them as poster birth moms to recruit more birth moms. How does that make these birth moms feel when they realize that they have been used again? When they are used to convince other young pregnant women to sign up to give them babies away? And then figure out what that once again they have been used? Pretty dang awful I bet! Something those of you who were duped by the large, mega-rich agencies - you barely had a chance - so remember that when you are tempted to throw on that cape of guilt and self-hatred. Refuse to wear it.