Cookie's Back and Swinging!

Long walks - I always feel so much better! So, why can and do people dismiss us for thinking adoption is anything but wonderful? Why is it okay for infertile woman to talk about their pain, or the pain of an adoption that doesn't go through, but, we are still supposed to shut up and get over it? Will I ever understand these questions? Don't think so! I just read an adoptive mom's journey to adoption and she spoke of the worst day of her life as when a planned adoption did not go through. She had never even seen the baby! So, meanwhile, we moms who carry our babies for 9 months and then birth them are supposed to not be distraught, etc? Talk about worst day of your life! Anyone like to follow a mom through the day she signs papers? Or the day months or years down the road that it hits her WTF she has done? Worst days - not just one day - a lifetime! Okay enough for now! I am super happy now! Just got an email from my son. He hardy ever sends them anymore. He apologized for not calling, said he's thinking about me alot (hasn't said that in quite a while). And the best part - he signed it "with love". He doesn't send too many emails "with love", so, they are mucho special. In a hurry, if this has typos, forgive me. This is a wonderful article about a medallion on a diaper that helped a woman find her birth mom! http://www.philly.com/mld/dfw/living/14000571.htm There was also a show on the History Detectives about it too. The Detective: Gwen Wright The Place: Kansas City, Missouri The Case: The only reminder one woman has of her birth parents is a medallion of the Virgin Mary that was attached to her diaper when she was presented from a home for unwed mothers to her adoptive parents. Homes for unwed mothers were a national trend from the beginning of the 20th century until the 1970s, when they fell from use. Follow this emotional story as the History Detectives head to Missouri to help our contributor finally find her birth parents and the home where she was adopted. http://www.pbs.org/opb/historydetectives/case/311_index.html Did anyone see "Family Makers" on the Learning Channels? It was hard to watch, but interesting. My hubby could barely stand to watch. Thank you all for your kind comments during my fragile mode. You guys are all too cool! Kim - how sweet you are - so mamma bear like! Susan, I appreciated your comments alot too - thanks - I know that not all moms who do foreign adoptions are dweebs! I will thank the rest of you later! All your supportive comments were much appreciated. Gotta go eat lunch - then tonight I am babysitting.

Fragile - Delurk Here Too!

I'd love for my lurkers to step up too - I'll be nice, really I will! Fragile – that’s what I am feeling right now. Tears on my way to work – a daily occurrence during that first year of reunion – not so common now. But, today, I felt them. It is interesting this "thing" called adoption. You think that you have a handle on it, but, boom, it strikes you again. Strong “steel magnolia” that I am, it even gets to me sometimes. “It” is the day to day “adoption” crap that I am bombarded with daily. Some days, I wish I could retreat to that safe, but uncomfortable, “birth mom closet” where I lived for so many years. But, I won’t. “Sleeping with the Enemy” – there is a heavy price to pay for doing that. But it is necessary. We need to educate our foes, not our friends. Here’s part of the *&%# that I am bombarded with lately: ...."Back to the anti-adoption folks.... Maybe they weren't crazy, just really sad and in a great amount of pain. They cannot move past a traumatic event and are stuck to wallow in their pain. So this anti-adoption thing was their way of holding a pity party. I don't feel threatened by anti-adoption or feel pity for anti-adoption folks any more. They are what they are and that is their problem, not mine.” I will respond to this moron – carefully – that is my way. I wish I could just tell her that she is an f---ing idiot and leave it at that. But, I can’t. If only she had just taken her exploration one step further – and realized there is plenty of basis for feeling “anti-adoption”. And, that instead of dismissing it, she should pay some attention and keep exploring. And try to make the adoption better. Are those attracted to foreign adoptions by nature simple-minded weaklings? Or are there any adoptive parents who do foreign adoptions that are reasonable, enlightened intelligent beings? Just asking, I wonder. So, we hang with them, and play nice and try to show them that we aren’t crazy, bad, evil, unworthy or undeserving. We try to let them know that we are “mother” material and try to explain why our current system of adoption needs plenty of work. I want to talk about coercion and lies told to pregnant women considering adoption. I need to – but I can’t face it now. I will get through it – as I always do – but I can not write much now. So, I will take a few days, regroup, etc. and then I will be back – in full force – and ready to battle again. P.S. This is my favorite photo of my Dad and I. Seeing it is bittersweet right now - he's not around any more - neither is my mom - but I was closest to my Dad. Since I am feeling somewhat sad right now, it is a good time for this photo.